Give Yourself Grace, Teacher

I have the privilege of traveling around the country helping educators develop practices, tools, and strategies for keeping their batteries charged. One of my favorite activities to include in a recharge session is a scenario of a tired teacher. The scenario typically goes something like this:

A seventh-grade science teacher used to look forward to her teaching day. She loved the energy of middle schoolers, the curiosity, the chaos, the way their eyes lit up when a concept finally clicked. But lately, she’s been pulling into the parking lot and sitting in her car longer, staring at the building and trying to gather herself.

Her inbox is overflowing. Two parents sent late-night emails questioning her grading. Another data meeting was added to the calendar. She can’t remember the last time she ate lunch sitting down. During class, she finds herself less patient, with a shorter fuse, a heavier sigh, and a sense of being “on edge.”

At home, she’s exhausted but can’t seem to turn off her mind. She barely has enough energy left at the end of the day for her own family. She scrolls on her phone to numb out, then goes to bed later than she planned. She wakes up still feeling tired.

What worries this teacher most is the feeling of disconnection and disengagement, knowing she’s not the teacher she used to be. She’s discouraged. Her spark is dimming. Her patience is thinning. She’s just getting though the day, day after day.

I ask participants to read the scenario, pretend this teacher is a dear friend, and give her some advice. They quickly compose the most beautiful, encouraging messages for this friend. But then, I ask participants to pretend they are this teacher and give themselves some advice. Suddenly, that empathetic, encouraging voice gets stuck. They tell themselves to push through it, get it together, and stop being such a mess. Why is it so difficult to speak to ourselves the way we would speak to a friend? Why do we struggle to give ourselves the same grace we give to others?

What is grace?

Teaching has always been demanding, but there’s something uniquely heavy about this time in education. Maybe it’s the growing demands and shrinking resources, the intensifying student behaviors, the lack of adequate time. The expectations seem to stack like blocks until the tower feels one nudge away from toppling.

If you’re feeling worn thin, overwhelmed, or not quite like the teacher you used to be, take a breath. You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re human, and this is a hard season. Let this be your reminder to give yourself grace, the same grace you’re constantly extending to others.

Grace isn’t lowering your standards or ignoring your responsibilities. Grace is recognizing your humanity and your limits. It’s making room for imperfection. It’s choosing self-compassion over self-criticism. Grace is recognizing that you’re doing your best, and that’s good enough.

Why Grace Matters (Especially Now)

Your nervous system is working overtime.

The hectic pace in today’s schools places extra demands on your body and mind. Student needs keep increasing. School calendars reflect countless assessments, events, and meetings. Your nervous system is constantly bracing for the next challenge, and being on alert all the time is exhausting.

Grace can cushion the impact. When you recognize that you are tired, and accept that being tired is understandable given the demands, your brain and body start to relax. You shift from self-judgment to self-compassion, which reduces stress, improves resilience, and helps you regulate more effectively.

Judgment is depleting.

Curiosity is energizing, and getting curious about your experiences can help you cultivate more grace. Many teachers carry an internal script that sounds something like this:

“I should handle this better.”
“I should be more patient.”
“I should have caught that earlier.”
“I should be able to do all of this.”

But “should” is a heavy word, an unrealistic taskmaster with no acknowledgement of context and circumstances.

Instead of should, teachers can accept and acknowledge the challenges, as well as their capacity to meet those challenges. This changes the script to:

“I did the best I could given the circumstances, and that’s enough.”

What Giving Yourself Grace Looks Like

Grace shows up in small, intentional choices, little permissions you give yourself that gradually transform how you move through your day. It’s letting something be “good enough” instead of perfect.

Maybe the lesson plan stays simple. Maybe the anchor chart isn’t Pinterest-worthy. Maybe the copy machine wins this round. Good enough is enough.

The Truth You Sometimes Forget

You pour out so much—energy, creativity, compassion, patience, time.
You hold space for others, even when your own heart feels stretched.
You make an impact, even when you don’t see it.

You deserve the same kindness you give to everyone else.
You deserve rest.
You deserve compassion.
You deserve grace.

And giving yourself that grace isn’t selfish.
It’s how you stay steady, connected, and whole.

When you give yourself grace, you reduce emotional exhaustion, one of the biggest predictors of burnout. Grace helps you stay connected to the work without being consumed by it. Teachers who practice self-compassion are more likely to stay in the profession, feel satisfied in their roles, and recover faster from stress.

The next time you’re feeling discouraged, drained, and disconnected, talk to yourself like you’d talk to a friend. Give yourself the gift of grace.

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